Role of the Parents
Despite frequent expressions to the contrary, parents can be the single greatest influence in a youth's decision not to use alcohol or drugs. Numerous surveys demonstrate that for many children, parental influence is the strongest determinant in such decisions - greater than that of teachers, media and EVEN PEERS! For youth who abuse substances, strong and healthy parental involvement is one of the critical elements to them being able to overcome presenting obstacles and achieve positive treatment outcomes.
Parental persuasiveness exhibits itself in many ways and its effectiveness is marked by facts such as amount of time spent with children and the consistency of the messages provided. Parents can positively influence their children if they reach them early and if they continue to reinforce strong values and positive messages throughout the adolescent years. Even when problems arise, the role of parents and the positive impact they can have should never be minimized or downplayed.
Parental persuasiveness exhibits itself in many ways and its effectiveness is marked by facts such as amount of time spent with children and the consistency of the messages provided. Parents can positively influence their children if they reach them early and if they continue to reinforce strong values and positive messages throughout the adolescent years. Even when problems arise, the role of parents and the positive impact they can have should never be minimized or downplayed.
Little Things Do Count
Too often parents feel overwhelmed by the number of events and circumstances and/or falsely conclude that they have minimal influence on their child's decision to use drugs or alcohol. But relatively simple things do have an effect. For example, eating meals together, partaking in extracurricular activities and taking an ACTIVE interest in their child's academic and social network has repeatedly shown tremendous benefits - for both the child, parent and family as a whole.
Children and youth require and appreciate structure, routine and the lessons parents can provide. Active and supportive parenting based on sound communication and clear expectations greatly aid children and youth to successfully navigate the multitude of challenging developmental stages they encounter over time.
TIPS For Parents
The following are some suggestions to help parents build a strong relationship with their children and reduce the chances that their young person will abuse drugs and alcohol:
Adolescent drug and alcohol use is statistically normative in our society. That is, the majority of young people will at least try alcohol and drugs at some point in their early years. Thankfully, the vast majority of these individuals will never see their use progress to the point of abuse or dependency. Regardless, it is important that parents remain vigilant, avoid minimizing substance use and not ignore the signs of substance abuse. More about alcohol and other substances.
What follows are some things to watch for if you think your child may be drinking or using drugs:
What to do
Talk to your child about your concerns. Let them know what you have specifically noticed and observed and that you are worried about them. Should your child disclose substance use, this moment of disclosure is often not the best time to immediately enforce consequences; it is an opportunity for greater insight and understanding into your child's behavior and reasons for use. Responding angrily will often escalate emotions, halt meaningful dialogue and has the potential to harm relationship trust.
If you require/desire help with this process, do not hesitate to contact a trained Substance Abuse Counsellor - such as those at the Dave Smith Youth Treatment Centre. Professional intervention can help determine whether or not a problem exists (and if so, to what extent) as well as help develop an appropriate course of action.
Too often parents feel overwhelmed by the number of events and circumstances and/or falsely conclude that they have minimal influence on their child's decision to use drugs or alcohol. But relatively simple things do have an effect. For example, eating meals together, partaking in extracurricular activities and taking an ACTIVE interest in their child's academic and social network has repeatedly shown tremendous benefits - for both the child, parent and family as a whole.
Children and youth require and appreciate structure, routine and the lessons parents can provide. Active and supportive parenting based on sound communication and clear expectations greatly aid children and youth to successfully navigate the multitude of challenging developmental stages they encounter over time.
TIPS For Parents
The following are some suggestions to help parents build a strong relationship with their children and reduce the chances that their young person will abuse drugs and alcohol:
- Build a sound relationship foundation through the clear and honest communication of love, values and expectations.
- Be an active participant in your child's life ("quality time" should not be viewed as a replacement for "quantity time").
- Take a strong and active interest in your child's interests, activities and peer group.
- Encourage your youth to seek your help on important decisions and help them assess the pros and cons of the choices they need to consider.
- Praise and reinforce positive behavior as well as consistently enforce timely and appropriate consequences when expectations are not met.
- Know what your youth is doing and where they are when not at home.
- Eat meals together as a family when at all possible.
- Remember that perfect parenting does not exist and that children of even the best parents may experience significant problems as they grow up.
- Nurture yourself (i.e. self-care) and relationship with your husband/wife/partner.
- Avoid letting shame, guilt or embarrassment get in the way of asking for professional help should problems arise.
Adolescent drug and alcohol use is statistically normative in our society. That is, the majority of young people will at least try alcohol and drugs at some point in their early years. Thankfully, the vast majority of these individuals will never see their use progress to the point of abuse or dependency. Regardless, it is important that parents remain vigilant, avoid minimizing substance use and not ignore the signs of substance abuse. More about alcohol and other substances.
What follows are some things to watch for if you think your child may be drinking or using drugs:
- Low grades or poor school performance/attendance
- Withdrawal, isolation, depression or anxiety
- Aggressive, secretive and/or rebellious behavior
- Defensive peer influence or change in peer group
- Deteriorating family communication
- Deceased personal appearance/hygiene
- Loss of interest in previously enjoyed sports and hobbies
- Noteworthy changes in sleeping and/or eating habits (e.g., weight loss)
- Physical changes such as: red eyes, runny noses, frequent sore throats, etc.
- Evidence of drugs and/or drug paraphernalia
What to do
Talk to your child about your concerns. Let them know what you have specifically noticed and observed and that you are worried about them. Should your child disclose substance use, this moment of disclosure is often not the best time to immediately enforce consequences; it is an opportunity for greater insight and understanding into your child's behavior and reasons for use. Responding angrily will often escalate emotions, halt meaningful dialogue and has the potential to harm relationship trust.
If you require/desire help with this process, do not hesitate to contact a trained Substance Abuse Counsellor - such as those at the Dave Smith Youth Treatment Centre. Professional intervention can help determine whether or not a problem exists (and if so, to what extent) as well as help develop an appropriate course of action.